IRL? Are You Freaking Kidding Me?

I read an article clearly written by a Millennial earlier today, which taught me a new internet acronym, IRL. The internet is as bad as the military in its overuse of acronyms, but unlike the military, apparently everyone under the age of thirty-five not only knows the meanings of these, but uses them online, and … Read more

Tubers of the World, Unite!!

I’m a tube sock guy. A proud tube sock guy. A relentless proponent of the tube sock. Maybe I’m just somewhat nostalgically stuck in the tube sock-laden era of my youth, the 1980’s, but I think my abiding love for the tube sock goes far beyond that. Tube socks are true, full and honest footunderwear … Read more

Last of the Firsts

So many news stories these days, on the lefty-side of our weird bifurcated information landscape, are about The First ____ to serve as ____ in American history. It’s usually a racial or sexual orientation thing, like the first Asian postmaster of the state of West Virginia, the first time Colorado has elected an openly gay governor, … Read more

Why Are We Listening To the Current Crop of Teenagers?

Aren’t they just as dumb as teenagers have always been? First off, let me state the inescapable fact that I, too, was a moron when I was a teenager. I was just as rigidly righteous, just as stupidly savvy, and just as annoyingly arrogant as these Gen-Z morons…but back then the world didn’t care. The … Read more

American Capitalism Needs an Etch-a-Sketch Shake-Up Do-Over

…Or So I Argued to an Unnecessarily-Defensive Buddhist the Other Night I had the beginnings of a decent conversation with an argumentative white California Buddhist the other night at the Intermission of a local cabaret. I’ve had versions of this debate before, but twenty years ago I basically argued his point, and now I find … Read more

Lifevertisement

They’ve been called a lot of different names over the years: ad guys, mad men, spin doctors, Satan’s little helpers. And those are just a few. These are the people who tell us what to buy, where to buy it, and how it will make us cooler and more attractive to the opposite sex. They … Read more

The Male-Pattern-Morning-Ritual

Your morning bathroom routine, much like your ear hair, is something that never stops growing until you die. By my reckoning, this process, when fully explored over the course of an average American lifetime, slowly grows, then dips greatly, then begins its true slow rise from a process that takes roughly ten minutes every morning … Read more

Religious Intolerance

I read a newspaper article a few months ago about an Amish guy and his stalwart band of reeeeaaaallllyyy un-merry men who got arrested for forcibly cutting off the beards and pony-tails of other Amish people he accused of not being Amish enough. NOT AMISH ENOUGH? Let that sink in for a second. That’s like … Read more

Early Organizational Names That Didn’t Make the Cut

The League of Women Voters took a circuitous path to its current mission. It began The League of Women Moaters, a traveling moat upkeep operation, which suffered mightily to stay profitable, mainly due to America’s severe lack of castles. Next it became The League of Women Motorists, and was taunted so mercilessly that it quickly … Read more