1) Hordes of zombie teenagers walking around, not talking to each other, staring into little blinking rectangles
2) A man claiming he was born the wrong gender, while not living in an insane asylum
3) Suburbanites walking around behind their dogs and collecting their poop in a bag
4) The news telling us to eat grasshoppers, tofu, kale chips, pretend cows, wheatgrass, free-range anything, avocado toast, avocado chips, avocado pancakes, or avocados
5) Artisan beer
6) Artisan coffee
7) Artisan water
8) Bottled water
9) Water that costs $5 a bottle
10) Water that costs literally any money whatsoever
11) Our cars telling US what to do
12) Our radios telling US what to do
13) Our televisions telling US what to do
14) A boy working at a restaurant melting down and claiming it’s a hate crime every time a customer calls him “sir”
15) Hate crimes in general
16) Defunding the police
17) The government spying on our every move
18) Local police allowing people to loot stores
19) A postmaster general who clearly hates the post office
20) People delivering any non-pizza food to your door
21) People protesting zoos
22) People protesting in favor of boys playing girls’ sports
23) People pretending to care about girls’ professional sports
24) The existence of girls’ sports
25) Ping-pong being considered a sport
26) Video games being considered a sport
27) Video gamers being watched as they play video games by anyone other than little brothers
28) Video gamers watching other video gamers watching other video gamers
29) Video gamers making millions of dollars for playing video games
30) Honest homeless signage