The Abundance of Idiots

My world is daily populated by Idiots. Perhaps you have met some of them. They are the people that wait until the cashier has tallied up the last item in their shopping cart before they start rummaging through their purse to look for their check book – on second thought, they are the people that even write a check at the grocery store, instead of using a credit card. Idiots sit texting at traffic signals after the light has turned green, and they drive in the left-hand lane a half-car ahead of the driver in the right lane, never passing anyone. They sit behind the white stop-line at an intersection, refusing to enter it, so that they and about two more cars could make it through on the yellow light. Not having spent enough of their limited life at the intersection, they choose to sit through another cycle of the lights… you never know when something interesting might happen!

Idiots compose the peculiar clans at Walmart, pierced and tattooed, that position their shopping cart in the center of the aisle, then stand on either side of it, in total oblivion to the folks before and behind them that wish to pass by. (Evolution has seen to it that the fewer the number of members in the clan, the greater their girth, thus assuring the successful obstruction of commerce.) And speaking of the girth of Walmart Idiots, you can bet that the greater the girth of the female specimens, the greater the likelihood that they will be wearing yoga pants, even though they probably do not practice yoga. They just like providing you with way too much information!!

The IQ of an Idiot is in inverse proportion to the number of times they say “like,” “you know,” “dude,” and “totally” in a sentence. I have wanted to comment on Idiots for some time, but I did not wish to offend them unnecessarily. I set my reservations aside, however, when I realized that, because they are Idiots, they will not take offense, as they will not perceive that I am referring to them. They will glance at the fellow to their left, or the one to their right – probably both – and nod knowingly.